My Child’s Language

It would be surprising if a child growing up in an English speaking home suddenly started speaking Urdu, with no one at home able to speak a word in Urdu. A child’s primary language therefore develops from exposure rather than formal learning.

Other languages may be learntformally or informally, but the primary language is that which forms the foundation from which other languages may later be gradually understood. Likewise individual reflex behaviours are developed from primary learning. No wonder it is said that a fruit does not fall far from its tree.

What language does a child speak? Anger, joy, love, hatred, gladness or sadness, aggression or kindness, warmth or cold? If the child is not speaking the home language where may the child have been exposed to the “foreign” language spoken?

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Buried Alive

Physical death is not the only reason that people end up six feet under the ground. There are people walking around us, seemingly engaging actively with the world but their hopes and dreams and all they yearned to be had been killed and buried though they are still breathing: they have been buried alive!

Earthly existence is meaningful with purpose. Embarking on a journey with no destination, short or long term stirs frustration and confusion. Defining the destination may take a while but still more purposeful than no thought or hope of defining a reason for living.

Whatever phase of life one may be in, avoid those who may try to bury you alive. Live with a purpose, live for your maker and flee from any thing or anyone that distracts from your sole allegiance to a purposeful life that’s divinely designed. Don’t let anyone bury you alive!

Think Trauma…

Victims of near fatal accidents have been known to have little and sometimes, no recollection of the post trauma events. Memory loss, mutism and confusion are some of the recognised post trauma presentations.

Emotional trauma is no different. Adverse experiences can result in numbing or injury of mental processes, that little is recalled of events after the trauma or that which is recalled is muddled up. It is therefore no wonder, that trauma victims may become distressed trying to give details required to help them.

Bringing distressing emotions to the surface may result in a mind battle, as protective processes in the mind attempt to suppress memories of stressful events in a bid to avoid pain.

If a friend is struggling in recollecting details of an event, it may be thay the recollection is more painful than it appears and one resuscitated memory triggers further recollections that are more distressing. Be a patient listener and support those who may seem to find it hard to express themselves.

Think trauma! Trauma is not only physical it could be mental too! A little kindness could make a world of difference.

Constipation

If you painfully push to poo, there’s very likely something wrong. An unhealthy diet, anxiety from a similar painful experience, poor hydration are some causes to be considered.

The same way, getting read of toxins in any form should not be unduly stressful. Eliminating dietary waste may be distressing if one has been eating unhealthy things. Getting rid of toxic feelings, associations or behaviours may also be very challenging if one has been imbibing wrong beliefs from an unhealthy emotional diet or processing thoughts in a detrimental manner, like a malfunctioning digestive tract causing constipation.

Getting rid of toxic emotions, toxic relationships and toxic habits help to enhance mental and emotional wellbeing. No one is designed to be a home for toxins.
You were designed for accomplishment, engineered for success, and endowed with the seeds of greatness ~Zig Ziglar

Toxic thoughts may be likened to birds flying around you, you can’t stop them from coming but you can decide how best to deter them.

You cannot keep birds from flying over your head but you can keep them for building a nest in your hair ~Martin Luther King

Should a spouse remain in an abusive relationship for the children’s sake?

If your house is set ablaze the right thing is to get out fast, flee from. The fire is destructive the fumes are also damaging, so best to fleeee….

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Your best friend is swinging knives to all around, you keep safe out of harm’s way. You can’t explain what’s going on but next best step is to be safe and make sure others are safe as well, especially helpless young ones. You love your home you lovee your friend but the right thing is to keep safe, for then you can help others too.

Much as you may love your house, please don’t stay in it if it’s on fire! You may move back in once it’s sorted and the risk of your safety and other residents is assured.

Should a spouse stay in an abusive relationship? If the frying pan has accidentally caught fire and you both agree it needs putting out, then work together and stay safe and happy. Should one person be obsessed with fire setting, flinging knives or smashing glass, physically or emotionally ….please focus on staying safe and get help to keep all safe as best you can! Only the living enjoy healthy relationships.

Related: https://amzn.to/2n5LDw4

Good Mood Food

Children fed unbalanced diet end up with consequences of whatever’s been deficient. Kwashiorkor, stunted growth, visual impairment, behavioual disorders, learning difficultues, lethargy and skin problems are a fraction of concerns noted to stem from an unhealthy diet.

Emotional diet presents much the same. Children fed healthy words of life grow differently emotionally, from those fed harsh, aggressive or abusive words. Some children are fed a mix of good and bad emotional meals.

Vitamins and trace elements are an important part of a balanced diet. Overprocessed food or healthy options excessively coated with sugar and sweeteners can be very damaging too. Vitamins like discipline may not be tasty but much needed. Well presented it is accepted like telling off with a tone of love or anger in desperation to protect in contrast to frustration from other cares.

We are what we eat, physically, mentally and emotionally.

A soft answer turns away wrath, but grievous words stirs up anger.

A child’s emotional growth could be stunted due to emotional malnutrition or toxins infused in earlier years. The symptoms of anger, insensitivity, aggression, to name a few, may be a consequence of poor emotional diet.

What kind of emotional diet am I feeding my children? Soft words or harsh words? Aggression or kindness? Vitamins of bitter truth or sugary deception for temporary calm? What kind of emotional growth is desired…keeping the longer term in mind? What children are fed plays a significant part in what they become physically, spiritually and emotionally.

Related: https://amzn.to/2v1Nm9U

The Inside Voice

Sunday school songs from childhood years, may often bring smiles to aging faces. The reassuring words warm the hearts from life’s cold winds.

“I love Jesus, I love Jesus. He is my friend, he is my friend. He will never leave me, He will never leave me. He is my friend. He is my friend.”

Life may bring harsh winds and the inside voice says “fear not” with an assurance of a loving God being Father, holding one’s hands as He never leaves. So, through tears, a heart assured of love will smile, confident that walking through the valley of the shadow of death there is no need to fear any evil “for thou art with me”. The seeds of the inside voice sown from early years and now firmly rooted.

The seeds sown in the hearts of children in early years determine the voice within as the years go on. Words of kindness, joy filled moments builds reserves to draw strength from when harsh winds blow. Every opportunity to show a child love and say in words or deeds “I care” may save another young life from a path of doom. Children hurting from feelings that no one cares, may be comforted by a simple act of kindness!

#changetheinsidevoice

The Monkey Within

The most common words children may often hear are “no” and “don’t”, with parents and carers attempts to prevent them from harm. Their faces may light up as the words suggest there’s something exciting that the boring adults are trying to stop. Full names being called may be endearing and ticklish to the monkey whilst a parent is fumingly trying to get a child’s attention. The desire for the deterred activity may be stirred, and the monkey within, being impulsive and longing for fun, soon leads the young minds in springing back to the very act they’ve been told off for. Parenting involves recognising the monkey needs managing, to help the child stay on a healthy track on life’s paths and it is worth noting that the child is not the monkey!

Adults who have not been helped in their early years to manage the chimps in them, are prone to abusive ways in parenting and in relationships, stemming from not being empowered with emotional management skills in their childhood or in later life. Teaching a child healthy habits in any way, is best done by modelling the desired healthy goals. A lifestyle of “do as I say and do” is more effective than “do as I say, not as I do”. Charming little monkeys into order requires self control and healthily managed emotions of those in charge.

The Spinning Wheel

Ridiculous things always resulted in the TENSION. Simple issues that could easily be resolved, if just one person did not feel determined to have control, an attitude of my way or the high way!

The controlling trait is enhanced by a subservient person giving in for the sake of “peace” as attempts to reason are dismissed, scorned or abusively rejected by the dominant party. The peace lover often eventually gives in but gradually begins to resist the irrationality for no other reason besides it being irrational! The conflict with a tyrannical person being challenged ends up in an acrimonious INCIDENT as personalities clash! It then seems impossible to carry on…..

Apologies may follow from the abuser being seemingly repentant, or the victim apologising in desperation for peace – including religious or cultural convictions of peace being maintained at all costs. The apologies, fake or true, help to glide into RECONCILIATION. Impressive heart softening gifts may be bought, to appease residual angst, extraordinary kindness shown to the victim makes it more convincing that there’s been a turn around. It would seem there is a turn for better with a period of apparent EASE but once the victim’s guards are down, there’s fussing again by the abuser about nothing and anything. Trivial matters are magnified and the DRAMA starts again.

The wheel begins to gather speed as Tension mounts to an ………….. Incident (major explosion!) Reconciliation is next and then Ease till a trivial matter starts Drama and rolls the cycle on and on..

The victim is T-I-R-E-D of and gets drained as the cycle repeats – Reserves: mental, emotional and physical are drained and without appropriate help in breaking the cycle, the victim breaks and sometimes too late…!

Break the cycle of domestic abuse! Save lives!! Every life matters!!!!

The victim gets more and more T_I_R_E_D and without appropriate intervention, like an occult bleed, lifes have been lost whilst those around may not suspect a terminal state of chronic abuse….

Please encourage suspects to seek expert help to prevent ill advice that compounds the complex difficulty.

Related: The Deepest Well