Free Spirit

Who Is Spending Your Life?

Life, like the contents in a worn oil skin, seeps out daily. Each second mounting to minutes, hours, days, weeks, months and years, the leaking oil running out till the end of time. Life once spent on earth cannot be regained! Every day drawing nearer to the end, wherever that exit be on the earthly journey….

Time is life!

Who is spending your life?  Life is precious, as can be seen when someone is bleeding away and fears escalate of imminent death. Life quantified in time, therefore implies ineffective use of time is ineffective use of life!

If my life is quantified as oil in a jar, what would I use the oil for?

Every life matters, guard your moments, guard your time, guard your life from being misspent! You only live once! True freedom includes freedom from life wasters!

What activities, interactions or relationship is using up your life purposelessly?

#Intentionalliving #Lifehasapurpose #Livinginfreedom

Free Spirit


Fear had become a constant companion, this was deadly fear! Treading land mines daily in a petrified state was paralyzing. Initially it had felt like walking on egg shells, and within months progressed to fears of an explosion, doubtless that any eruption could escalate to fatality!

There were good things at times, it seemed, but were they worth the price of living terrified? “The little foxes spoil the vine”, a phrase she had heard from childhood years, often came to mind.

The vine seemed to have become increasingly worthless. She had grown to know the foxes by name: intimidation, threats, and manipulation coming in regularly and lies and deceit were the most frequent ones. Anger had taken permanent residence for the past few years, with short lived respite only when it slept.

An exit strategy was required, hopes of a fruitful vine was clearly a delusion. The dilemma was how? how? how? without rousing anger and killing dreams for life and freedom. It was time to make a plan, a careful plan with safety prioritized, best done with help, for time was fast running out and anything could happen any minute or second. She recalled someone had once mentioned a “net” that could help. One minute more could be too late.

#NoExcuse4Abuse #VAWiseveryone’sbusiness #Childrenhurttoo!

Free Spirit

The Driving Seat

It’s your car, a birthday gift. You are to drive it as often as you choose, wherever you will. At times, there is a need for another to be at that wheel, to help the car perform better or the owner to get required rest.

Life has a purpose.

You may find a helper, at times of need, steering your gift not as you will or heading a different way than you desire.  The gift being misused, may be termed abnormal use or better shortened to the word “abuse“.

It’s function is unique for every one, no two people are exactly same. The gift wears out with every breath and if it’s spent not as designed, would have been used, for anything but its purpose.

Like good car care, it’s always worth checking the gift is used as should.   Fear and doubt are known to have been allowed in taking over a driver‘s seat, aborting dreams and purposeful living. Taking care of the precious gift of life, is taking charge of how it is spent. A daily check may be to ask, “who is in the driver’s seat of my life?” Then also ask “Who should be there?

#Intentionalliving  #Lifeisagift #Purpose4living

Free Spirit

Invisible Trauma

There were no scars seen by the eyes, so it was hard to describe. The intense pain and scars too deep, had no rating, as none with eyes could see. The wounds failed to heal for repeated trauma and got reinforced too, with verbal abuse that knocked self worth and resilience failed to thrive. It was hard to get help from hospitals or any source for these invisible scars, so most victims keep quiet till the end whatever that may be?

Like an occult bleed from hidden cancer, many are losing blood daily. Their lives ebbing, suffering and smiling, in fear they wake and sleep. The smiles may be terse for pain restricts the fulness of life in them. Sometimes the exuberance is used to veil the wounds they fear be seen. The world uhs and ahs when suddenly they flee from unspoken agony, to realms unseen, having bled to death from injuries deep within.

Emotional trauma is real! The abuser not being ‘aware’ does not reduce the detrimental impact of the assault. Coercive control kills and is still killing, in homes, at work and various settings. Abuse in any form is dangerous and unjustifiable in any way, else it would be justifying early deaths and children orphaned too.

There’s hope while there is life, it just has to be right. So please never give up as long as you have breath. Reasons that hold many captive have answers to help out. Bone and skin doctors don’t treat hearts and friends can’t treat cancer, so it’s best to contact specialist help so life is not made worse. Click here for your local help agency.


Free Spirit

Wind The Bobbin Up

It’s so much fun to clap, clap, clap, the more the bobbin gets wound up. My clinical supervisor’s inspiring, care filled words, have stayed with me through the years. Her words of wisdom helping me see through dark seasons in children’s lives. The words have also been a refreshing reminder for me to always mind the gap and to help others do the same.

I have reflected frequently on those golden nuggets, one of many she dropped for me, which have helped me on life’s journey. These particular nuggets have been a great help, especially when engaging with children with various challenges and trying to get to the roots of problems causing distress to families, carers and professionals.

Photo by Pexen Design on

I had been taking about resilience in children, to which she softly responded, “even an elastic band has its limit”. Profound. That comment has been a great help for me in supporting children who have been stretched to “snap, snap, snap” changing the joyful tune of the song. thankfully, we have been able to clap again in most cases. I reflected that everything has its capacity or limitation, beyond which healthy functioning or beneficial purpose begins to decline or cease. Economists describe this principle as the law of diminishing returns.

Every child is unique and no matter how resilient a child is, there is a limit beyond which stretching becomes detrimental. Encouraging a child to aspire for high goals, is therefore best done acknowledging the child’s strengths, weaknesses and capacity. A healthy process also requires ensuring the weaknesses don’t impede the strengths and the strengths are not stretched to snapping point.

It brings to mind louder applause for athletes, as their stamina and skills gleam. The noisy joyful clapping stops abruptly, when unfortunately something snaps, a tendon, a muscle or even the mind. Please let’s support children and indeed everyone, in clapping and not snapping. Let’s be encouraged to help support children in healthily attaining their unique potential in every way. #Parentsbeware #childrensnaptoo #thebest4children

What does your child do that makes you clap? What could make your child snap?

Free Spirit

The Sepulchre

Omolola saw all the warning signs. Attempts at resuscitation seemed futile. She knew she needed to accept this was final, except something supernatural happened, like cases in the mortuary that unexpectedly stirred with life. She braced her mind with determination to accept the truth. Letting out a huge breath, she thought, “when it’s dead it’s dead, hard though it may be to accept”.

The living dead

Acknowledging the truth did not stop her going back to the sepulchre, at times when she felt pain from decades of her life dead and gone, “hmm..just like that” and hopes of her beautiful dreams shattered. How had she not known it would end like this? Visiting the sepulchre was like going to a dead end job and making no plan to break away.

Encouragement from friends and family to move on was hard for her to embrace. She smiled to herself, thinking her feeling stuck was sadly like romancing the dead. She knew she had to cut off this unhealthy emotional tie, that tormented her mind. The time for change had come else it would be more time wasted. She decided to take the next step to move on and leave the sepulchre.

#Livingfree #Befreeindeed

What dead situation or false hopes are you holding on to?

Free Spirit

5 Steps To Shining!

It may often feel there’s so much more needed, for life to be a brighter place. A solitary star can only give so much light, compared to many stars shining bright. The world would be brighter with more light whilst helping others to shine brighter too. “It only takes a spark to get the fire glowing…”

The moon and sun give light in different ways at different times so shine as ‘you’. Be happy to be ‘you’.

Let your light shine!

Start where you are, with what you have, as best you can. The best step towards your dream goal is the first step at every step. The journey of a thousand miles is made of steps, take the first and at every point take the first.

Help others too. “You Can Have Everything In Life You Want, If You Will Just Help Enough Other People Get What They Want.” – Zig Ziglar Helping others shine may be the extra light you need on your path

Invest in relevant resources towards your desired goal(s). The right food for the body keeps if growing healthy, feeding the mind with relevant resources makes the dream a reality. There is always a price to pay and risks to take.

Network with people who have attained your goal(s) and people going where you desire. It helps to avoid time wasting mistakes. “He that walketh with wise men shall be wise: but a companion of fools shall be destroyed”. Proverbs 13:20 KJV

Enjoy each phase of the journey, to keep you persevering. So, find joy in every stage. Celebate the victories, even if they be small wins. Embrace the lessons from failure with joy, knowing they are lessons for improvement. Infuse activities with fun, like calm soothing background when engaging in a difficult task. Enjoyment fuels endurance, helps to stay focused and keep moving closer to that desired goal.

#BornToShine #TheShiningLight #TheWorldIsWaiting4You

What holds you back from shining?

Free Spirit

The Shining Light

It came to my window every night, this shining little light. It wasn’t like another star and was strange to my sight.

This so distant small bright light, high up in the sky, stood out so dinstinctly, it was a bright white light. Sometimes it showed up with the moon and sometimes all alone, shining through my night.

Initially I did not dare tell ayone, no family or friend, thinking they might suggest I must be seeing things and undue concerns for my mind.

Living in Light…

It seemed to be a special sign, showing up for me, and was so vividly there each time I went to bed. Sometimes it showed up much earlier and lingered in daylight, finally I showed my children and sister this very special light. It felt so precious to my heart it’s light so near to me.

Some more checks with Google’s help, I found it was Venus, showing up in April months: the second brightest object in the night sky, second to the moon. Called the day star, the evening star and also morning star.

I had never noticed it, in decades here on earth or probably disregarded it in the hurriedness of life. The lockdown slowing my living pace had helped me stop and see, this very special star for the first time ever!

Wonders abounding all around, easily may be missed, with getting caught in life’s drama and drained by its demands. I am thankful for the mighty works of God and also thankful too, for the chance to see His awesomeness so dear and near to me.

#Gratitude #Thankfulness #Lockdownjoys

What are you thankful for today?

Free Spirit


Delusions are said by shrinks to be beliefs that are false, unfounded and fixed, seeing things for what they really aren’t, convinced against the reality.

The deluded therefore will without doubt, take steps and acts out of the ‘norm’ unfortunately may harm others and self too, going beyond borders of what is true as tools for good are wrongly used.

The lack of insight makes it harder for the view is different with this mind disorder. Help is needed to fix the mind’s eye and the healing time therefore may take a while. Support for life with healthy links is a great help.

Embracing a lie for selfish gain, is not a delusion in any way! And rather a choice to grandeurize self to the detriment of others that are determined not to matter!

Stinking thinking begets revolting living. Illusions of power allowed in depriving others of life, love and freedom is the paving of a sure path to self destruction!

Delusion or illusion?

Lies clutch the heart with shackles unseen, when truth which frees is disregarded: tightening, choking, forming callous, till the confused mind deprived of life, bears fruits of deceit with forceful acts, depriving others of life and love and liberty!

These ill ideas when it’s of power, forgets the hour when friends will gather and the body at which men once cowered, is showered as ashes or put in a container or down below it may be lowered.

Preoccupied with power and not the good of any other, many have come and gone, some yet to be born. Like Pharaoh, Hitler and religious leaders, It’s still ongoing this wielding towers – institutions, corporations organisations, various covers. All run by humans, oh! the chance will not be forever…There is only one Power that is forever… #Truthlives #GeorgeFloyd #BlackLivesMatter

What is truth? What illusions have I embraced as “truth”?

Free Spirit

Warning Signs

Mind your mind

The journey is long, the body weary, there’s a deep longing to get to destination quickly. The body says stop, I need to rest, a thought says keep going, you can do it! The voice of tiredness is disregarded, the urge to carry on allowed to rule, in spite of quieter thoughts that safety limits have been exceeded. Signals disregarded may cause avoidable harm!

The amber light comes on, a thought says just a little more. The light goes red, anxiety increases, fear follows, the risk of significant harm escalates and some parts of body or life gets damaged. Other innocent parties may also come to harm…unfortunately sometimes irreversibly. How far should one stop stretching before it gets harmful?

Keeping an eye on health indicators, helps prevent breakdown, physically, mentally and emotionally. “Mind your mind” is often said, and this will help in minding one’s life! Feeling tired, irritability, excessive eating, headaches, declining productivity may be some signs the body’s battery needs recharging or some oil need topping? Know your capacity, know your limitations!

Warning signs begin to flash when reserves start running low. The body may flash amber before it goes red and comes to a stop! Keep your mind healthy, mind your mind to take good care of your life.

What are your warning signs to stop and refuel?

Free Spirit


The bright sunlight rays danced on her head, slowly forming a beam that lit up her face into a welcoming smile, “my name is trust“. I smiled back politely unable to reply spontaneously. I struggled not to chuckle, tickled by the thought of the strange name! Strange to me, but mine apparently not to her. She had met people from everywhere.

My precious friends, unknown to me, had arranged help for my trip. “Why would anyone name their child trust?” I kept thinking to myself. Trust was focused on her given task, and not as easily distracted as moi! She stretched out her hand across the ditch, offering to help me over, “We have a long journey ahead”. I thanked her, securing my grip in her hand, leaping across to her hug on the other side.

There were many, more ditches ahead, the journey planner had said. Having Trust seemed like a great help, as I was getting tired! She introduced me a few minutes later to her brother, truth, who owned the ‘chalet’ we were to stay in for the next few days. I thought again, his name is strange!

We drove through, wide smooth roads lined with dated palm trees, the fronds shimmering with a homely green. Wide open, tall, sturdy metal gates led us to scores of cheerful looking uniformed guards. I wondered what the gates were made of. I was awestruck by this picture of opulence and authority, mixed with joy and air of peace!

Meeting trust and truth was rousing more excitement! As the last blobs of energy drained from my mind all I could think was trust? truth? Trust truth… till consciousness lost its grip…