JAWS – Just A Wife Syndrome

What is “a wife”? 
A smile spread across my face as I listened to the explanation that I need not be involved in details of my brother-in-law’s love life. I must say the tone was notably kind as the message was relayed. The justification stated, “remember you are just a wife”. My spontaneous thoughts, “oops!” I felt I had overstepped boundaries. 

I thought being a wife included a benefit of a bigger family, with more brothers and more sisters. My upbringing did not demarcate “in-laws” from the nuclear family. I grew up with the joy of an expanding nuclear family, as uncles and aunties got married, resulting in more family members. Well, I was now enlightened that this may not necessarily be the case, especially in relationships infected by cultural viruses manifesting with JAWS, especially when one leaps into a completely different family, societal, racial or tribal culture. My thoughts drifted to Renike.

As the years have gone by, the signs and symptoms of JAWS seem to have waxed and waned in intensity, but the condition has been very apparent including acts of seeming endearment with frequent undertones of being judged. It was not disturbing for me at all, rather educative and enlightening, the greatest Judge of all being my Father, and with an unwavering doubt of being loved unconditionally by my Creator. I will also not deny that there were good times too with healthier minded family members. Anyway, I was mindful that there is a cure for common ailments and this had a remedy too! 

Rest and a healthy diet are recommended for most viral illnesses, of course other interventions may be required with complex cases. I determined to ensure prevention of any complication, and implemented first line treatment:

REST : Knowing my true identity as designed by God and not man’s perception. My true potential may not be realised yet, so I’ll stay focused on it and rejoice in all I am designed to be. It gives so much rest being happy with who I am, shortcomings included! 

HEALTHY DIET: This is required for my Spirit, soul and body. Healthy food for my body, healthy reading/learning for my mind and the knowledge of Jesus Christ for my spirit. Yes! Jesus Christ is the only one who states “I am the way, the truth and the life”, the things he said came true and He gives assurance of peace beyond human understanding which I have experienced- got to know Him more!!

LIBERAL ORAL FLUIDS: For cleansing out unhealthy toxins in my body. Copious healthy knowledge for washing out unhealthy thoughts, thereby strengthening my spirit. 

So, I may be Just a wife to some, but confidence in what God calls me “loved unconditionally”, brings a smile to my face when I see symptoms of JAWS and related disorders. I know who I am, and will not be redefined or see myself through the malfunctioning lenses of others eyes! 

Happy to be me….living free! 

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