Against all odds

The seed was determined to grow against all odds. Threatened by pests, bad weather and stress, it made the most of what it had. The threats prevailed like fears in men and overt signs of impaired growth. Against all odds it pressed forward, through the dark earth till it shot through in vulnerable form. Its appearance was no reflection of the strength in it and though at times its form regressed, the inner core was taking form. So, more and more, the signs for growth became clearer and over time its beauty shone in spite of threats that persisted.

Bloom where you are in spite of all that threatens. Find room for growth even if just an inch and with time you’ll see beauty come forth.

Happy Father’s Day

Precious memories come to my mind on days like this for me: counting my father’s grey hairs and watching his face brighten up with a smile, as l asked for payment for each strand I pulled out. He was happy with his emerging grey hairs but my silly games were treasurable moments for both of us. I got much more than the payment I requested, the joy of those moments still warms my heart now – priceless. I miss my dad and always will! I was told the pain gets better with time, hmmm, yes…sort of.

Provider, Protector and being present, are some of the qualities that describe a good father. An earthly father may not always be present for various reasons: work demands to provide for the family may result in prolonged absences from home, unexpected illness with hospitalization… Changes in life’s circumstances may impair or impede the ability to provide. So even with the best intentions an earthly father may not be all he desires to be.

For those of us who find ourselves without a father on earth today, or with a physically present father who is emotionally absent, there is comfort in the presence of the heavenly Father if we don’t reject His outstretched arms, always waiting, always loving, never leaving, His eyes full of love for each one of us!

Father’s day for me will always be above all, the celebration of my Heavenly Father, my provider, protector and ever present King and friend, the one who knows me best and loves me most!

To all those who find Father’s day bringing memories of absent fathers, or even “fathers” present but abusive, please embrace the greatest love of all, the love of the one who knows you best and loves you most, God’s unconditional love! It will put a spring in your steps and brighten the rest of your days! ❤

Happy Father’s day to all Fathers in different ways and also to all those mothers who are doing their best to fill in the ‘gaps’….

My Family

People around may be so nice but “they don’t get it”. The only people who seem to get it, are my friends ’cause they think like me. They respect my views, they know when I’m sad, but those at home show no respect for who I really am.

My real family is those who care! We may fall out from time to time, they’ll stick with me through thick and thin. I am happier living rough with them than in any posh house with mum and dad. “Home” really would be different if someone truly cared! Since no one cares, why then should I? I’ll stick with those who think I count!

https://youtu.be/dx9xZRL1xWc

They say they “we’ll do this n that” but really they’ve got no time, when they do it’s for what matters to them. All so busy doing their thing, chatting with friends but have no time..right! … but keep ranting about school, grades and boring stuff….! There’s nothing to show I matter at all, but with my friends I can count on ’em. So I’ll do my thing and stick with my mates, they are the ones who really care?

How does a child know you care? Presence, physically and emotionally are more valuable to a child’s wellbeing than any present!

A listening heart with a listening ear has been known to transform many lives!

Seasons of Life

Life is journey, with different seasons and a reason for each season. Winter gives a chance to rest and recover from the exciting activities of a beautiful summer. An extended summer may lead to burnout, a prolonged winter may result in depression. Life however, often does not tell what could be coming one’s way: loss of a loved one, job loss, a broken heart, terminal illness.

The need to be empowered with skills and strategies to cope healthily in various phases of life cannot be overemphasized! The storms of life will come in different forms to everyone and may start as unexpected rain on a bright summer day. Learning to manage stormy seasons is best done before the storms begin.

A lifetime is made up of memories and stormy seasons need not be made of bad days. You can sing and dance through floods and storms and with the right help not be overwhelmed!

The Price of Peace

It was easier to give in, for peace sake! It was easier to please him, for peace sake! Giving up her dreams was no big deal as long as there was ‘peace’… till she started wondering what peace, peace, peace? truly means.

There was no way of pleasing him…it became apparent that was impossible. Nothing was good enough whilst he did nothing! Disrespectful, disobedient, dim…were a few of the words he described her to be. She began doubting her worth, thinking she could not have been so smart if she felt she was in a mess. Was it really a mess? He was sometimes so nice, thoughtful…else she would not be in the relationship in the first place??? She wondered what she had missed. Hmmm…

Confusion began to set in, as transient ‘good’ phases clouded bad memories. She could not tell what to expect at anytime, like harsh wintrous weather intruding a bright summer day and suddenly swinging back to not knowing what next, like the confusion in her mind…..yet needing to carry on with life ‘as usual’. Attempts at keeping a mental record seemed to make no sense, for things then seemed to go well for a season….she feared she may be imagining things as he would also deny what were her vivid recollection of distressing events.

BBC News – Domestic abuse: NI charity develops app to track incidents
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-northern-ireland-47807040

Omolola began questioning herself! What is the price of peace when pieces of her life seemed to keep getting chipped off. She feared her sanity was beginning to fall apart…could not afford that for the children’s sake if nothing else. Surely there must be a reason for living besides living to please someone for ‘peace’ sake. She knew there was more to life than what she was enduring….something had to change! This really was not peace, not for her, not for her children! She decided, “It is enough” for peace surely could not be her falling to pieces!!

Toxicity!

It’s odorless and tasteless, so often not noticed as it seeps in. The destructive effect may soon ir gradually become extensive, damaging more than can be imagined. Nerves are damaged to varying extents and many lives have too often been lost! https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/carbon-monoxide-poisoning/

It’s no different from emotional abuse, covered by makeup, fancy clothes and looking “the part”. “Suffering and smiling” so those around do not detect that life is fast ebbing away, like an internal bleed!

Truth is what sets free! Detangling from abuse is needed to save lives! Pain physical or emotional is an indication something is not right. Continuous inhalation of the toxic fumes of abuse causes worsening damage mentally, emotionally and physically! Please don’t live with emotional distress when help is available. Reach out safely for help and break free from toxic and abusive relationships.

Get help before help becomes impossible!

BBC News – ‘Groundbreaking’ new domestic abuse law comes into force
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-47764648

Home

The Egg

The pastor smiled in apparent amusement at the concerns I expressed of inappropriate behaviour towards me. Our finances being discussed openly, did not seem right to me. My spouse had been bragging of buying me some expensive outfits which I must admit I would not have bought without a lot of persuasion to justify spending so much on clothes. What he did not add was that it had all been paid for with my credit card.

He and his pastor seemed to enjoy their conversation, deriding his recently married wife, both smiling as the pastor declared in a soft tone, “she is an egg!” Not being one for confrontation or disagreements, I held my peace, after gently stating my bit: personal affairs were not for public discussion.

The years that followed were marked with increasing insult to the egg, who proved quite resilient but still was “an egg”. True to its nature it eventually cracked and contents that had safely been contained spilt to the surprise of many. Pressure on its shell had been tolerated for longer than one would imagine for it was not an ordinary egg. Its nature however resulted inevitably resulted in its giving in to external excessive and unjustified pressure.

The egg had apparently been deemed to be one that rolled where pushed and for many years subservient compliance was the norm. The egg rolled back and forth, as required of it but it appeared a lot more was happening on the inside and pressure seemed to bring out unexpected things. The contents of the egg when it finally cracked was a shock to many. Cheeky chick!

By Omolola.

The Ball

Keeping one’s eyes on the ball is key in any game. The game of life is no different, with a need to keep one’s eyes on individual life purpose. Distractions abound from opponents and the monkeying impulsive part of man, that may result in losing focus and beautiful purpose aborted.

A determination to keep the main thing the main thing, helps resist distractions and stay on track in fulfilling purpose!

Don’t sniff what you shouldn’t eat!

One of my dad’s favourite sayings was not to sniff what you had not considered eating. It reminds me of the story of the little trout that disregarded its mother’s warning not to go near a fly, for “that horrid fly is used to hide the sharpness of the hook!”

There are convictions that prevent making dangerous life decisions. Trouble has often been known to sooner or later follow when these healthy convictions are disregarded and other reasons are used to justify changing our minds: sniffing again at food that seemed to have gone off because it looked good or for an uncontrolled appetite may make it enticingly acceptable.

The little trout was young and not so wise, described by the poet as “young and foolish too”, so disregarding the wisdom of old of its aged mother, it ventured out “to see if it were true”. Yes, the little trout sniffed what it was not supposed to eat till it convinced itself and in confidence said “I’m sure that’s not a hook!”

The end of the story is like many regretful cases when one looks back and remembers the inside gentle safety nugde that said “don’t” and draws our attention to subtle signs of danger ahead. The trout played around the hook “with many a longing look”, its greedy mind seeing the fly and not the trap till it got caught and with last breath stated “dear mother had I minded you, I need not now have died”. Dreams have been shattered for sniffing what had been considered inedible, more disasters may be averted by heeding our safety nudges and past experiences may be used to help others avoid land mines on life’s tortuous paths!

Please don’t sniff what you are sure you shouldn’t eat!

My Child’s Language

It would be surprising if a child growing up in an English speaking home suddenly started speaking Urdu, with no one at home able to speak a word in Urdu. A child’s primary language therefore develops from exposure rather than formal learning.

Other languages may be learntformally or informally, but the primary language is that which forms the foundation from which other languages may later be gradually understood. Likewise individual reflex behaviours are developed from primary learning. No wonder it is said that a fruit does not fall far from its tree.

What language does a child speak? Anger, joy, love, hatred, gladness or sadness, aggression or kindness, warmth or cold? If the child is not speaking the home language where may the child have been exposed to the “foreign” language spoken?