The pastor smiled in apparent amusement at the concerns I expressed of inappropriate behaviour towards me. Our finances being discussed openly, did not seem right to me. My spouse had been bragging of buying me some expensive outfits which I must admit I would not have bought without a lot of persuasion to justify spending so much on clothes. What he did not add was that it had all been paid for with my credit card.
He and his pastor seemed to enjoy their conversation, deriding his recently married wife, both smiling as the pastor declared in a soft tone, “she is an egg!” Not being one for confrontation or disagreements, I held my peace, after gently stating my bit: personal affairs were not for public discussion.
The years that followed were marked with increasing insult to the egg, who proved quite resilient but still was “an egg”. True to its nature it eventually cracked and contents that had safely been contained spilt to the surprise of many. Pressure on its shell had been tolerated for longer than one would imagine for it was not an ordinary egg. Its nature however resulted inevitably resulted in its giving in to external excessive and unjustified pressure.
The egg had apparently been deemed to be one that rolled where pushed and for many years subservient compliance was the norm. The egg rolled back and forth, as required of it but it appeared a lot more was happening on the inside and pressure seemed to bring out unexpected things. The contents of the egg when it finally cracked was a shock to many. Cheeky chick!
Keeping one’s eyes on the ball is key in any game. The game of life is no different, with a need to keep one’s eyes on individual life purpose. Distractions abound from opponents and the monkeying impulsive part of man, that may result in losing focus and beautiful purpose aborted.
A determination to keep the main thing the main thing, helps resist distractions and stay on track in fulfilling purpose!
One of my dad’s favourite sayings was not to sniff what you had not considered eating. It reminds me of the story of the little trout that disregarded its mother’s warning not to go near a fly, for “that horrid fly is used to hide the sharpness of the hook!”
There are convictions that prevent making dangerous life decisions. Trouble has often been known to sooner or later follow when these healthy convictions are disregarded and other reasons are used to justify changing our minds: sniffing again at food that seemed to have gone off because it looked good or for an uncontrolled appetite may make it enticingly acceptable.
The little trout was young and not so wise, described by the poet as “young and foolish too”, so disregarding the wisdom of old of its aged mother, it ventured out “to see if it were true”. Yes, the little trout sniffed what it was not supposed to eat till it convinced itself and in confidence said “I’m sure that’s not a hook!”
The end of the story is like many regretful cases when one looks back and remembers the inside gentle safety nugde that said “don’t” and draws our attention to subtle signs of danger ahead. The trout played around the hook “with many a longing look”, its greedy mind seeing the fly and not the trap till it got caught and with last breath stated “dear mother had I minded you, I need not now have died”. Dreams have been shattered for sniffing what had been considered inedible, more disasters may be averted by heeding our safety nudges and past experiences may be used to help others avoid land mines on life’s tortuous paths!
Please don’t sniff what you are sure you shouldn’t eat!
It would be surprising if a child growing up in an English speaking home suddenly started speaking Urdu, with no one at home able to speak a word in Urdu. A child’s primary language therefore develops from exposure rather than formal learning.
Other languages may be learntformally or informally, but the primary language is that which forms the foundation from which other languages may later be gradually understood. Likewise individual reflex behaviours are developed from primary learning. No wonder it is said that a fruit does not fall far from its tree.
What language does a child speak? Anger, joy, love, hatred, gladness or sadness, aggression or kindness, warmth or cold? If the child is not speaking the home language where may the child have been exposed to the “foreign” language spoken?
Physical death is not the only reason that people end up six feet under the ground. There are people walking around us, seemingly engaging actively with the world but their hopes and dreams and all they yearned to be had been killed and buried though they are still breathing: they have been buried alive!
Earthly existence is meaningful with purpose. Embarking on a journey with no destination, short or long term stirs frustration and confusion. Defining the destination may take a while but still more purposeful than no thought or hope of defining a reason for living.
Whatever phase of life one may be in, avoid those who may try to bury you alive. Live with a purpose, live for your maker and flee from any thing or anyone that distracts from your sole allegiance to a purposeful life that’s divinely designed. Don’t let anyone bury you alive!
Victims of near fatal accidents have been known to have little and sometimes, no recollection of the post trauma events. Memory loss, mutism and confusion are some of the recognised post trauma presentations.
Emotional trauma is no different. Adverse experiences can result in numbing or injury of mental processes, that little is recalled of events after the trauma or that which is recalled is muddled up. It is therefore no wonder, that trauma victims may become distressed trying to give details required to help them.
Bringing distressing emotions to the surface may result in a mind battle, as protective processes in the mind attempt to suppress memories of stressful events in a bid to avoid pain.
If a friend is struggling in recollecting details of an event, it may be thay the recollection is more painful than it appears and one resuscitated memory triggers further recollections that are more distressing. Be a patient listener and support those who may seem to find it hard to express themselves.
Think trauma! Trauma is not only physical it could be mental too! A little kindness could make a world of difference.
If you painfully push to poo, there’s very likely something wrong. An unhealthy diet, anxiety from a similar painful experience, poor hydration are some causes to be considered.
The same way, getting read of toxins in any form should not be unduly stressful. Eliminating dietary waste may be distressing if one has been eating unhealthy things. Getting rid of toxic feelings, associations or behaviours may also be very challenging if one has been imbibing wrong beliefs from an unhealthy emotional diet or processing thoughts in a detrimental manner, like a malfunctioning digestive tract causing constipation.
Getting rid of toxic emotions, toxic relationships and toxic habits help to enhance mental and emotional wellbeing. No one is designed to be a home for toxins. You were designed for accomplishment, engineered for success, and endowed with the seeds of greatness ~Zig Ziglar
Toxic thoughts may be likened to birds flying around you, you can’t stop them from coming but you can decide how best to deter them.
You cannot keep birds from flying over your head but you can keep them for building a nest in your hair ~Martin Luther King
If your house is set ablaze the right thing is to get out fast, flee from. The fire is destructive the fumes are also damaging, so best to fleeee….
Your best friend is swinging knives to all around, you keep safe out of harm’s way. You can’t explain what’s going on but next best step is to be safe and make sure others are safe as well, especially helpless young ones. You love your home you lovee your friend but the right thing is to keep safe, for then you can help others too.
Much as you may love your house, please don’t stay in it if it’s on fire! You may move back in once it’s sorted and the risk of your safety and other residents is assured.
Should a spouse stay in an abusive relationship? If the frying pan has accidentally caught fire and you both agree it needs putting out, then work together and stay safe and happy. Should one person be obsessed with fire setting, flinging knives or smashing glass, physically or emotionally ….please focus on staying safe and get help to keep all safe as best you can! Only the living enjoy healthy relationships.
Children fed unbalanced diet end up with consequences of whatever’s been deficient. Kwashiorkor, stunted growth, visual impairment, behavioual disorders, learning difficultues, lethargy and skin problems are a fraction of concerns noted to stem from an unhealthy diet.
Emotional diet presents much the same. Children fed healthy words of life grow differently emotionally, from those fed harsh, aggressive or abusive words. Some children are fed a mix of good and bad emotional meals.
Vitamins and trace elements are an important part of a balanced diet. Overprocessed food or healthy options excessively coated with sugar and sweeteners can be very damaging too. Vitamins like discipline may not be tasty but much needed. Well presented it is accepted like telling off with a tone of love or anger in desperation to protect in contrast to frustration from other cares.
We are what we eat, physically, mentally and emotionally.
A soft answer turns away wrath, but grievous words stirs up anger.
A child’s emotional growth could be stunted due to emotional malnutrition or toxins infused in earlier years. The symptoms of anger, insensitivity, aggression, to name a few, may be a consequence of poor emotional diet.
What kind of emotional diet am I feeding my children? Soft words or harsh words? Aggression or kindness? Vitamins of bitter truth or sugary deception for temporary calm? What kind of emotional growth is desired…keeping the longer term in mind? What children are fed plays a significant part in what they become physically, spiritually and emotionally.