The Power of Words

pexels-photo-69096.jpegHarsh words on tender hearts go much farther than one may see or think. Anger is stirred with cruel words or unkind words said by loved ones.

A child’s tender heart longing for care, is easily scarred by angry words. Scar after scar, callous is formed and insensitivity then results. The cause is forgotten while the scarring process continues and symptoms later become a concern: fears of threatening behaviour and angry acts, worsening aggression and violence, children going missing also happens as they seek warmth with home being cold.

A soft answer turneth away wrath but grievous words stirs up anger. Proverbs 15:1 Kind words cost nothing! Discipline can be firm and kind when done in love rather than in wrath. Aggression easily stirs up more aggression, like harsh words stirring up anger. Sometimes the recipient is often silent whilst bitterness grows with hope of respite away from the abuser at the earliest chance! Kind words turns anger away and harsh words rouses anger.

Angry children become angry adults. Angry adults are bound to raise angry children – A fruit does not fall far from its tree. Angry people stir anger in others, young and old, stirring up more evil works in our world. Let’s help to break the force of anger that threatens peace by speaking kind words.

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Is Old Roger dead?

The likely instant thought that may come to mind under an apple tree, if suddenly hit on the head, is that an apple’s dropped from the tree and ouchingly landed on one’s skull. The last thing one would expect is a dead person long gone, rising to give a knock on the head in protest of picking apples over his grave. Old Roger was unhappy with the old woman picking “his” apples, even though he was not legitimately meant to be on earth. The question really is “was old Roger really dead?”

Warning signs of evil lurking are often, if not always present. Disregarding the signs, naïveté and lack of discretion are some of the factors that result in complications later on in the journey of life. The old woman was likely completely off guard, enticed by the ripe apples and less aware of signs that old Roger was ready to jump, after all it was a burial site…..the knock on her head from old Roger soon told her the truth: old Roger ain’t dead!

Ghosts come up in different forms and a lot more happens in the unseen world than in the seen. This may be explained by intense distressing feelings manifesting in physical symptoms, like people going into shock on hearing bad news. A friend or acquaintance with unresolved issues unexpectedly showing surprising unkindness, abusive behaviour or unexplainable cruelty: Old Roger rising up within in protest of his apples being picked.

Buyer beware! Lush looking, ripe apples may draw one to sites where evil may seem to have been eradicated, like getting into a relationship; business, marital, employment or any other form with nice flags flying. It’s always best to check if old Roger is dead, else history may repeat itself?

“Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.” George Santayana

Old habits die hard! Anger, unkindness, fear, controlling behaviour, manipulation, and the like, are traits that can be so entrenched and difficult to uproot. Unresolved trauma will sprout its again and again symptoms given similar conditions. What killed old Roger? Was it the consequences of his aggression? Had he been unkind and dealt with by another soldier? Was his anger dealt with before he was buried? Preliminary checks before going for ripe apples: Why is the post vacant? Why did the previous employee leave? Why has a new management taken over? It’s best to provoke old Roger whilst you can run quickly than be in a vulnerable position or worse still fatal state from Old Roger’s knock on the head. The old woman was happily picking apples when old Roger “jumped”, obviously having more life than the dear old lady. It wasn’t mentioned if the old woman survived the head knock??

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Copied (author unknown):

Old Roger is dead and gone to his grave, H’m ha ! gone to his grave.

They planted an apple tree over his head, H’m ha! over his head.

The apples were ripe and ready to fall, H’m ha ! ready to fall.

There came an old woman and picked them all up, H’m ha! picked them all up.

Old Roger jumped up and gave her a knock, H’m ha! gave her a knock.

Which made the old woman go hippity hop, H’m ha! hippity hop!

—————————————————————–A prudent man foreseeth the evil, and hideth himself; but the simple pass on, and are punished. Proverbs 27:12

How to find treasure

Find a good thing, there are plenty around: relationships, job opportunities, skills, a good idea and so much more.

Nurture a good thing and you’ll see it grow, it may be slow, it may not glow, but it will add value to you more and more (if nurtured).Find a good thing and if you treat it like trash, it’ll do you much harm whilst others are blessed by the same.

So if you find a good thing, nurture it and you’ll see it grow, then over time it’ll have added so much value- you’ll be treasure!

Seeds of treasure may not glitter like gold!

Respect

Respect cannot be forcibly obtained, it is earned. Earning respect begins with respecting oneself, as self respect automates respect for others.

Every human being deserves respect, young and old, rich and poor regardless of any difference, religion or gender, race or state.

A humble reminder is “dust to dust, ashes to ashes”, the final state of all men. Why then dare any man consider himself better than another?

Respect begets respect!

Children are deemed in some cultural settings not to be “respected” and rather expected to “respect” adults and those in authority. The meaning of respect is clearly misunderstood in such scenarios. Respect means recognising and regarding. Like most words a spectrum that extends to admiration and highly esteeming.

Recognising another person is acknowledging their humanity, strengths and weaknesses included and where there may be undesirable characteristics or differences, the person is still regarded whilst the undesirable part appropriately addressed. A person is therefore not disrespected or abused because no matter how annoying the behaviour or qualities, respect gives due regard for the individual. The behaviour may not apparently qualify the person for respect but self respect enables one to exercise discernment and separate undesirable qualities from a person and treat them in a spirit of love.

Love may sometimes need to be tough and showing respect may require firmness, sternness or severing a relationship.

Respect all men then you may expect respect!

Murder or Manslaughter

The impact of physical activity is easier detected than that of unseen deeds hence physical trauma is quicker spotted than emotional trauma. It’s understandable as we live in the physical realm and our senses attuned to the physical even if it be to varying degrees.

The unseen impact of trauma on our invisible parts can be more damaging and the negative consequences more extensively destructive than one may sometimes dare imagine: confidence crushed for life by verbal abuse in childhood, fear of positive attainment due to seeds of doubt deposited by “a friend”. The damage may be fatal that potential is murdered and never realised, and be it accidental or deliberate, like manslaughter and murder, whatever the case may be irreversible damage is done!

Prevention is better than cure – you never know what little act of kindness could transform a life! A kind act may reverse some of the ill effect of unseen trauma. There are times we may however need be “cruel” to be kind, for what a child for instance, may perceive as cruelty may be a life saving act. True words from a friend could help change the routes from death to life!

Exposure

What one is exposed to tends to be familiar and may easily determine the yard stick in respective areas. Familiarity with certain spices for instance may make other spices taste strange or desirably exotic. Someone who on the other hand is used to bland meals will likely find mild spices too hot!

Unhealthy exposure is associated with significant risks.

It may be hard to discern an unhealthy environment for someone who is used to filthy living. People have been known to live comfortably and happily in very filthy settings and not desired better, with no awareness of detriment to their health, physically or mentally. Understandably, there are exception to the rule with perception sometimes being severely impaired for various reasons. There are known situations with extreme hoarding that is shocking when revealed, yet the concerned person sees no problem. Someone who is used to living in a refuse dump may easily feel strange in a tidy house – the familiar is missing and hence a sense of loss and fear of the unknown.

Desire for higher standards necessitates exposure to higher standards. An ancient proverb states “don’t smell what you won’t eat!” Smelling something somewhat desirable increases the appetite for it. So if it’s not the kind of area you dream of living in, viewing the house may result in settling for less than healthy with future regret. It’s important to guard what one is exposed to in every area of life, to enhance attainment of desired goals. A desire for healthy homes is enhanced by exposure to healthy homes, same goes for relationships and associations in various ways. Healthy relationships are built through association with healthy contacts. Our choices play a great role in our life’s destination. Life is short, right choices will help to make the most of our time on earth.

Healthy communication promotes healthy living!

Evil communication corrupts good manners!

A kind Act

I recall walking to the bus station in a semi-rural part of kent, in England. The road was deserted and as I was about to cross I suddenly noted a possibly middle aged man on the opposite side of the road. His long dark hair appeared unkempt, it may however have been his style. There were other features I had, ashamedly, judged him by. My unconscious bias triggered a thought: rough looking, sturdily built, he may have violent tendencies. Another part of my brain braced my anxious emotions and I deemed it better and respectful as I ought to all men, to greet him. His response was shocking!

He replied with a spontaneous “good morning” and immediately added, as he beamed in apparent joy, “Someone said good morning to me in England!” He seemed ready to dance as he walked on repeating with a glad tone, someone said good morning to him in England. My undoubted shocked expression transformed in seconds to a smile from the depths of my heart. I felt I had caught the same bounce in his steps. I had taken a “risk”, by talking to a stranger I had erroneously perceived to be a threat. I felt ashamed for misjudging him and was pleased my risk turned out to be pleasantly rewarding! He was happy and so was I and it had cost me mental energy that I could easily afford as well as earning a lesson to be less judgemental! I hoped the rest of the day went well for him and if it didn’t I had at least made a part happier and I was happier too!

People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care. Theodore Roosevelt.

Little acts of kindness show people one cares. Opportunities abound daily to reach out in love: a truthful “how are you?”, a quick caring text. Show someone you care with a little act of kindness. It often costs very little if anything at all!

SAIL

Keeping safe on busy roads is best ensured by staying in lane. It’s crazy to dart in and out from lane to lane without just cause- it increases risks of accidents! There sure are times when one needs to make frequent changes in life’s lanes – this is best done with not just eyes, but mind as well on road and plan.Journeys differ, and vehicles too. Starting points are never fully same. Destinations for all are so different and similar goals may offer different roles. When roles are same, strengths vary too and so do all our weaknesses. It therefore shows there’s no exact match for each one’s trip on life’s highways.

It’s therefore best to stay in lane! As changing lanes, for no just cause, is a waste of time and energy! Your “slower” lane may take longer but give the break your dear brain needs. If your lane be fast, enjoy it too, you may be gaining time before the delaying diversion ahead. Whatever life brings enjoy your lane and not change lanes for envy’s sake.

SAIL – Stay Always In Lane!

Pharaoh

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Thinking…..

I have often wondered about the passage in the bible where it states God hardened Pharaoh’s heart. Why would Love, that God is, harden someone’s heart.

Love has been defined, the verb part, as doing what is in the best interest of the object of its love. It recently occurred to me that had God not hardened Pharaoh’s heart the Israelites would probably have remained emotionally shackled in long-term slavery with worsening physical and emotional distress, than go forward to the unknown promised land.

Love is tough!

A healthy minded parent would do whatever it takes to relieve a child of distress or abuse in any way. Parents may ask teachers for more homework in a bid to ensure a child’s potential is fulfilled, employers may demand more from employees and this help in skill building. Exceeding healthy limits may be Pharaoh’s heart being hardened to provoke one to exit and move towards personal dreams being fulfilled. Love may therefore harden Pharaoh’s heart if the child of Love refuses to move out of an abusive atmosphere / system.

Many people deemed successful have been known to identify their turning point of rag to riches, shame to fame, pain to gain, to be the peak of pain in different ways: extreme poverty, base humiliation, peak of shame or emotional distress. Had their circumstances not been adverse there may not have been any motivation to exit to a healthier place.

The promised land is different for every one. Lush green fields it may be for some, yet for others a cosy place in a sky scraper. The “green field far, far away” as an old song goes, is as far as our minds imagine and often well within reach when the decision is made to leave the comfort zone.

To walk on water you have to come out of the boat~ John Ortberg

Walking on water, bound to be an exhilarating experience but requires coming out of the boat. Great opportunities may easily be missed out on for choosing to stay in comfort zones. Increasing distress may however propel one out of comfort to healthier places. When life gets tough, it may be the push out of comfort to fulfilled dreams, to being all God has designed one to be, entering one’s promised land!

Knowledge is Power

Some say what you don’t know won’t hurt you. it is however true that what one doesn’t know can hurt.

Several years ago, I attended a wealth creation seminar with a friend who had more experience of the business world than I did. Trusting my friend’s confidence to invest in this unfamiliar territory, I consented to investment plans without understanding, lacking the required in-depth knowledge for high risk financial investments. I soon learnt the true meaning of “buy cheap, buy twice! ” We had gone ahead to invest without adequate knowledge, after an introductory seminar and soon had our fingers badly burnt! It was A bad experience that made me appreciate the value of a proper education. A healthy education has a healthy price attached to empower in obtaining healthy results and avoid pitfalls!

Knowledge indeed is power! To succeed in any venture, knowledge is required and not fragments of it. The increase in relevant knowledge increases the strength to attain the desired goal(s).