An expression of relief often lights up the faces of young people, when I tell them “grades don’t matter.” It contrasts sharply to their parents’ horrified look, with parental jaws sometimes dropping open – speechless, and pupils dilating!
Grades are simply a snapshot of one’s academic abilities at a particular moment in time. As reportedly noted by Einstein, grades do not measure creativity. Grades also do not evaluate capability for kindness, resilience, or the ability to overcome challenges—all of which are far more critical in the real world.
While academic performance has its place, it should never come at the expense of a child’s emotional well-being. Success in life is not defined by straight A’s but by a person’s ability to navigate life’s ups and downs with strength and grace.
We are able to excel in what we do because of who we are. What we do is not what defines who we are. Achievements, attainments, or progressing in any endeavour, is fuelled by a state of wellbeing. Emotional health should therefore the primary focus, in every setting.
Would you put the cart before the horse?
Please let’s remember not to put the cart in front of the horse. The carriage can never draw the horse. A healthy horse can draw different types of carriages.
A friend reportedly attributed his “failures” in high school to his being tested only on what he did not know. Whatever the failures were then, reflects in no overt way in any area of his life in subsequent years, and may even be the spring board to his soaring that we see.
What matters
Relief sweeps across parents’ faces, when our discussion moves on to focus on what matters most. Waves of puzzled expressions rise, with affirming what the young person desires. Yes, sometimes it’s not what parents hope for, but time reframes the same desires for many.
We explore deep seated, unique aspirations, which may require specific ingredients, hence the need for giving one’s best in the examinations is usually agreed by all.
Examinations may be a tool for “the goal”, n’est pas? Ok, I know that’s another discussion, and we sometimes dig into it as appropriately as possible. The recommendation being to watch Karate Kid. We can discuss this some other time.
If the examinations are not done, or enough effort apparently not put in for various reasons, there are other options. The horse is most important. Given a choice what would we rather preserve? The horse or the carriage?
Please let’s look after our “horses.” Every horse is a unique breed, with different needs. The cart or medals do not define the horse. After all is said and done what is the end of all our pursuits? It all starts and ends with EMOTIONS.
#You
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#emotionalhealthmatters
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