Another day at the clinic, phones ringing, patients queueing, angry parents, crying babies, the elderly struggling to be heard! One doctor less, he died last night, but business must and need continue as usual.
Years of hard work in a top firm, her table stacked with files to sort, keen to deliver top notch service, it may have to be at her expense. Unseen cold hands grip her colleagues hearts with fear, when the need to clear her desk comes up, as work needs go on. She had passed on with no notice, the weekend gone. The boss reassures all that her post has been filled that very week, her replacement soon would sort out the desk. The thought was loud, it could have been any of them so swiftly replaced! Business must and should continue as usual!
For the child who’s lost a parent, for the spouse without the other, for the mother or father who’s son or daughter has gone too soon, it’s not business as usual, and really may never be!
Stress can be insidously toxic! Time rolls on regardless of who exits. Life is a gift each person is given to use as desired. Taking on more than is healthy in anyway, or not reaching out for help when life gets challenging, may result in a exiting earth prematurely!
High worth goods are treated with special care, and should be, especially when a high price has been paid! Unfortunately doubt may sometimes be cast on the value of treasure, when a mind, for various reasons, fails to perceive its worth.
Truth is priceless! Truth applied to a situation, helps to keep safe and bring positive transformation, for it gives light to know what is best done with a thing, a situation or a relationship. Truth therefore is life giving and aids in making the right decision.
Disregarding the truth, at times when it tastes bitter, as it sometimes will, may put one at risk of an adverse experience! Unfortunately, deception is rife and evil not uncommonly packaged as good! Whatever the decision that needs be made, the onus is on the buyer to ensure toxin is not purchased as truth! Once you know the truth letting go of it can be dangerous. Buyer beware!!!
Conversations go on all day, within and without. The TV speaks, the radio too, friends and family voicing opinions, teachers and coaches sharing their views. Conversations are ongoing about everything and everyone in different ways. Things that are said from different perspectives, determine actions and reactions all around us.
What people say or think about does not count as much as what is said to self. The unseen internal dialogue(ID) is what determines how the world is viewed by an individual, and consequently the behaviour. Careful monitoring of one’s thoughts and choosing healthier thoughts over harmful thoughts, is therefore required for emotional wellbeing! Discipline from within enhances discipline without and ultimately a happier life!
The “forces” were again at work! Dreading her tired mind would have to get into an endless futile debate, she gave in to the request for the family savings to be used for a proposed business venture, better put another ‘business’ gamble that was clearly not going to yield anything! It was easier to consent else…..The cost of saying “no” would be a frighteningly angry man, endless complaints from him about not acting in the best interest of the family, allegations of her ‘sabotaging’ his great plans for his children….there would be no end! Threats and intimidation would usually drown her voice and choke her choice. It was much easier to give in, for there would at least be peace, if only for a short while before the next challenge, so was it really peace?
Using force to have his way regardless of her wishes had become a pattern of behaviour. Persistent, irrational justification, truly termed manipulation, for whatever he desired till she gave in, threats to change family plans or desert the family and even once he threatened suicide, just to have his way! He was the dominant party in whatever decision needed to be made. The controlling behaviour was so draining mentally and emotionally, he would persist till she lost the strength to think, thinking had become confusing….and then she would give in again. On reflection she later realized he also timed his demands: call her when she was at work for an instant decision about an urgent big deal at stake, being woken at 2am to reach an agreement that could not wait till morning? Seemingly involving her made it seem her opinion mattered, yet all that counted was all she could bring to the table for him to pursue his goals, regardless of the cost to her or anyone else in any way! It was so subtle. It was his way or the highway.
Most people thought she had it good, just the way he wanted their life to look. Her continuing subservience had sustained his outrageous demands, truth be said she enhanced it. Putting her foot down seemed the only way to break the pattern she had been unhappily putting up with for years, but the cost seemed more and more unbearable! BBC News – Relationships: Coercive control abuse ‘is not love’ https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-50601858
He denied being abusive, when once confronted, “have I ever hit you?” True, there was no physical abuse, never, but the confusing conflict of living life by decisions she was not in agreement with, was to her, violation of her own beliefs. She felt her self fading away, slow death, energy sapped, finances drained yet for him she was not enough in any way…. she had been agreeing to what she was in disagreement with, in too many ways, for so long that it had become the norm. Self deceit? Sometimes it seemed to make sense, but only when under pressure… later she would think clearly and battle self doubt,then the cycle continued…..her mind felt fuzzy, living seemed really crazy! She realized she needed a greater force to break free from the clutches of unseen controlling forces in her life.
Coercive control is crazymaking! Please don’t suffer in silence.
“I have no faith” were my friend’s words, but this I didn’t believe. She’d walked right in and promptly taken a seat. She hadn’t checked in any way the seat had legs or was fit to seat on. There was nothing to confirm in any way her safety was ensured. Her trust without any evidence we both agreed was faith!
She’d also driven down the motorway where often there had been, many cars and trucks crashing, for which lives had been lost. She had driven down without a doubt that we would meet as planned, for had she feared that she would die, she sure would have stayed back. To this, again we both agreed she surely had shown faith, trusting she would attain her goal of arriving at her desired place. Her trust was in spite of the fact she could have crashed and died along the way! Again, as we both reflected this was without doubt FAITH.
Faith is exercised in different scenes and often daily too. Taking flights to unknown places, relationships including jobs, various types of investments and faith in many other ways. Every man therefore has a measure of the substance called faith. The use to which it is put determines what is reaped.
Faith is NOT physical evidence, for then it would not be faith! Faith to good use is confidence of positive desired outcomes, though doubt and fear threaten. It is the assurance for what we hope, evidence of that unseen and confidence when reasoning says contrary. It therefore at best, a force in life that doubt and fear resists. It is the power that pushes on to sail joyfilled through life and may be detrimentally used as confidence in fear.
Faith forges on in confidence, towards its focused goal, assured its dream is no different from what may seem real to most. Faith at its best, is not deterred by fear or doubt and and when used with the best at heart it transforms lives for good!
I am very thankful for countless blessings yet keen on my future being happier and lots more fruitful than the present. I look forward to a happier tomorrow with less stress, more time, beautiful moments with loved ones and enjoying healthy relationships. I am aware for the good harvest I seek I need to sow the right seeds and nurture the seeds appropriately as they develop, to guarantee the type of harvest I desire.
The care of my seeds as it grows needs to be unrelenting, else my potentially bountiful dream harvest may not become reality. The type of seeds I sow, the care of my seeds, the perseverance with caring, ensuring the right environment for each type of seeds, are some of tbe key factors that will determine the quality and quantity of my harvest.
Failure to plan is planning to fail! What do I desire for the future? What type of seeds do I need to sow? What type of seeds am I sowing? What consistent activities are required to take me from seed planting to harvest? A MAP is needed. #MakeAPlan.
Beauty in brokenness, but not from the start. Remoulded by the Potter though perceived by others as trash to discard! It once had its use, till life dealt it blows; misused, abused, displaced then replaced, it seemed in the world it no longer had a place!
The Potter saw much more, beauty in brokenness, no other perceived. With the Master touch, value was added where worth had eroded: trashed translated to treasured with the touch divine! Healing and wholeness, infused with light and newness of life! Refined, redefined and filled with new wine.
Highly treasured, greatly favoured! Without the brokenness there would have been no room for the gold that made it bold.
Said the spider to the fly, “come into my Parlour please”. The fly resisted, the spider persisted, with skillful coercion the fly drew closer. Peeping playfully, fluttering then stuttering, the fly finally concluded there was no harm in exploring further, so into the web it joyfully went….
The web did feel soft and cosy, just as the spider had said, so the fly relaxed into the space feeling at ease with a sense of peace. A fly it is and fly it must, so soon its wings it began flapping, to be what it was made to be and enjoy its new relationship and new abode. Confusion started creeping in with not being able to fly, the web’s softness as each wing touched a thread, made the fly feel there was no need to fear, compounding its confusion.
Confusion mixed with worsening fear, as gradually the fly realized the pretty web was indeed not what it appeared to be: Silkiness, softness and the intricate design, had been skillfully combined to trap innocent flies for the spider’s gain! The fly became fearful of its glaring inevitable fate, if it did not escape from its happy mate who continued very actively to secure it’s nest as best it could and ensure its pet was wholly its.
Strategy not energy! The harder the victim flapped its wings, the more confused and tired it got. Expending more energy did not seem to help, it was getting weaker and weaker too, and felt more vulnerable to its friendly foe. Putting up a fight clearly made things worse, it needed a strategy and quickly too, that would ensure coming out safely and staying healthy!