The words hurt. There is no apparent justification for the condescending tone the reply is coated with. Anger stirs in you, at you, for going the extra mile and being rewarded with a slap in the face! Ouch…
Your thoughts are “never again!” Emotional guards rise within, to prevent recurring insult ever happening again. You may find yourself deciding to avoid certain groups of people, certain places or not attempting some tasks again. Going out of the way to help others may seem clearly unreasonable, at times like this.
There’s a reason for every disappointment. There’s an explanation for why you feel the way you do, be it feelings of rejection, abandonment or being taken for granted.
ACCEPT your feelings, noting there’s a reason. ACKNOWLEDGE there’s a way of preventing this recurring, and not subject yourself to abuse again. With the best of plans it may still happen, but harness the prevention lessons as best you can. AVOID an emotional reaction, decision or plan. Making a reasonable decision may be hard whilst your feelings are intense, so just breathe. Your emotions are signals for you to determine the appropriate solution.
Take charge of your emotions. Resist your emotions taking charge of you.
Emotions, like pain, may result in irrational behaviour rather than a solution. It is important to acknowledge the pain, and FOCUS ON THE SOLUTION
Help from others may be required in determining the appropriate solution. Once the process for the right help is initiated, hope helps to alleviate the distress, even if just a little bit.
The risk of recurring distress is reduced, once the solution or form of appropriate intervention is implemented. It may be setting boundaries to prevent abuse at work, home or with friends. Like learning to say “no” more often, than people pleasing to self- detriment.
FOCUSING ON THE SOLUTION through the pain, be it physical or mental, helps:
PREVENT future emotional pain or harm, from similar issues, by putting healthy measures in place for your holistic health.
PROTECT your mind from continuing hurt or abuse. Setting healthier boundaries,or other appropriate measures as part of the solutuon for the distressing issue, will protect your mental health.
PRESERVES your self-esteem, with respect earned by reasonable behaviour. Your solution focused thoughts fuels the manifestation of mature responses and respectful behaviour.